After having to cancel their famous St. Patrick's Day Parade two years in a row the residents of Butte came up with their own idea, a city wide purge. The Purge began at 7am on March 17th and will end at 7am March 18th. During the 24 hours, all crime is legal within city limits.

The fifteen people who live east of Billings in eastern Montana have experienced several planned power outages in the early morning this week. These thirty minute power outages every two hours until 10am are a rare form of energy conservation being used by the federal government to help power it’s Mechagodzilla.

It was decided last night at a Butte school board meeting to make crack cocaine use mandatory for all school bus drivers. The decision comes just days after a Billings bus driver confessed to being high on meth while on the job last September.

An unnamed Helena horse rescue has raised $4,000 dollars in hopes to help save a group of elderly horses by feeding them potato chips. “We plan to feed potato chips to all Montana horses! I am the only person with the knowledge and skills to take care of horses properly!” Karren Wetpooh, the owner of the rescue stated on her Facebook page.

“I’ve been the head editor of the Bear paw since its creation earlier this year. I went to Montana Tech and got a major in technical writing, and with all my experience I could not come up with a funny name. Bullcock or Ball-lock? I mean it’s close to something, but its nothing, but I can sense there’s something there.” Ryan Buttscratch commented to Thomas over a morning cup of joe in the breakroom.

Tuesday night an important debate between recumbent Montana Senator Steve Daines and current Montana Governor Steve Bullock took place at the University of Montana. Both are running for one of Montana’s two senate seats. Governor Bullock was criticized for looking high during the debate due to squinty eyes and sweat dripping down his face.

This Monday, Montana Governor Steve Bullock answered questions from the press in response to his proposed 2021 fiscal budget. The majority of the press conference was spent discussing the inclusion of the state purchasing 49 Big Mouth Billy Basses with taxpayer money.

A recent internet rumor started by an unconfirmed source stating that Lieutenant Governor and gubernatorial candidate Mike Cooney has been denied by Mike Cooney. “I’m not a puppet being manipulated by three beavers!” Mike Cooney said on a Facebook post Thursday afternoon.

Eastern Mt. Mystics, though usually reclusive recently emerged and revealed their use of a beer bottle depicting Teddy Roosevelt in Evil Knievel's suite charging in in the back of an El Camino to channel the Ghost of Teddy Roosevelt and make inquiry of North Dakotas recently announced plans to build his presidential library in Medora ND.

We here at the Bear Paw think we know Montana towns pretty well, at least there stereotypes. What Montana Town are you based on these stereotypes? Well take our f**ing quiz to find out!

Montana Tech releases a follow up study regarding the increase of Californians and Washingtonians surpassing the grasshopper population.

Helena High Students who enjoy starting fires on school property now have to resort to lighting fires at home due to new Covid-19 procedures. A new policy states that Helena students are required to start at least one fire at their home per semester, although more are encouraged by school administration.

“Listen Linda, I can’t be certain that my hot rhymes didn’t start this nasty fire, sometimes my bars are just too hot. But I’m fairly confident and have been told by my legal team that I should state that there is no relationship between the two no matter how cool it sounds!” Bullock responded to the press while looking at his legal team in the corner.

Dating in Montana can be hard. There isn’t a lot of places to go and if your looking to do something special for your significant other you might not have anywhere new to take them. No fear the staff at the Bear Paw have sat down and scratched our heads and butts coming up with the top five places you can take your loved ones.

“We all know that Paul Buyan cared about his cleanliness, the man would not shut up about how clean his buttocks was. To the point where it became uncomfortable to have a conversation with him according to historic texts.” Dr. Dungleberry an archaeologist from Yale commented to the press.

NBC Montana debuted a new streaming service this Wednesday morning for fans of 2020 campaign ads. The service was unveiled on NBC Montana morning shows Wednesday morning. The service is available online for the competitive price of $24.99 a month.

As protests and talks of mail in ballots for this year's elections took center stage in national conversation, Governor Steve Bullock announced that he would require everyone to vote by carrier pigeon in November.

Montana has confirmed another 48 Covid-19 cases this week, and has confirmed that 69 breweries have opened in the last week in Bozeman alone. The study was conducted by the CDC with help by Montana State University.

The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists have moved the doomsday clock from a 100 seconds to midnight to an hour from midnight following the Walmart conversation. The furthest the clock has been from midnight before this moment was in 1991 at the conclusion of the Cold War.