BREAKING NEWS: The Bear Paw Is Satire!

A LETTER FROM THE FOUNDER AND HEAD EDITOR OF THE BEAR PAW

I never thought I would have to write this letter but I always have to things I don’t think I will have to do. Like clean the litter box. I am the founder of the Bear Paw and I make fake news. Well I force people to write articles. I don’t write too many. I break the wills of my writers to come up with the worst satire that bear minds can produce. I thought by marking our Facebook as satire/parody, making the top and bottom of everyone of our web pages say “montana satire at its worst”, and releasing articles as ridiculous as “Governor Bullock Orders Everyone to Wear Tuxedo T-Shirts” and “Chines Seeds Grow Piranha Plants” would make that very clear. But for those who do not still know, this article is for you and this letter is for you. So thank you for making me waste time out of my time to do my writers job.

- Thomas Bearclaw, Founder

I always thought my photoshop skills were pretty bad, but after reading some comments on our articles I might be on to something. I should quite my full time job of writing satire to design cool t-shirts or something. Especially since the majority of the people don’t read the article, just the headline. Making up headlines is easy, just type in CNN, Helena Independent Record, the Missoulian or any other media outlet. The hard part is writing jokes into articles. I know the world is a crazy place, and it might just be crazy enough to believe some of our articles. But if you would read one of the four paragraphs I write telling the story you will clearly see that is not only fake, but hilarious. I am a satire God, and I demand a raise Thomas!”

- Ryan Buttscratch, Head Editor